From Cinderella to Bridezilla

May 19, 2008 at 3:16 pm | Posted in Guestwriters, Love & Marriage | 9 Comments
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Posted by Angel

Hello everyone, this is the first time I post something private online so forgive me for my lack of practice. I’ve enjoyed reading babycakes’ blog since its inauguration and I’ve immensely enjoyed both the articles and the feedback so I’ve decided to use this blog as my own kind of therapy during the stage I’m passing through now. You must have figured from the title by now that I am, in fact, a bride to be. 

 

The day my fiancé proposed to me on a boat in the river that surrounds the city of Seville was without a doubt the happiest day of my life (so far at least) (I’ve always secretly dreamt of being proposed to on a boat, not quiet as big of a boat but rather a rowing boat…Bridget Jones / Old English Victorian era films effect )…and I was completely happy and relaxed during our two engagement parties…however I find myself not so relaxed right now with the wedding 3 months away. I find myself completely losing my calm. The symptoms began to show as soon as I came back from my trip back home to prepare for everything with my wedding planner, mother, sister and aunt. I was completely cool and composed. However, a couple of weeks after I got back I began to panic…and I’m not really sure why because everything is more or less taken care of and I’ve been good at following everything up…plus I cant wait to be married to my fiancé.. It’s just the wedding I’m flipping out about…I just keep wanting it to come out perfectly and for everyone to enjoy it (so whoever of you who are reading this and are going to honor us with your presence at the wedding you’d better tell me you had a good time, capish?)

 

Actually I’m lying…its not just the wedding I’m worried about…although I’m head over heels in love and not worried at all about my fiancé and our compatibility. He is truly my prince charming and I never thought I can be so happy, I find myself worrying about the future.. a year after the marriage we might have to move because of my work obligations and there are very big decisions that have to be taken very early on and that is scaring me.  I’ve been moving around and away from home ever since I was 16 (12 years ago) and I just wish I can stop moving. Would the change change us?

 

I hate this habit of mine of thinking too far ahead and I try to stop myself from doing it but over and over again I find myself thinking and thinking and thinking. Is that what they call cold feet? Two weeks ago I took a week off and went away to visit one of my closest friends.. it was amazing being able to get away…I told her from the beginning I don’t want to even talk about the wedding. Being the oldest and  first daughter  and granddaughter to get married I had been a little overwhelmed with daily calls from my mum, sister, aunts, cousins, friends at whatever hour of the day to talk about it that I chose not to in that trip. You cannot believe how therapeutic that trip was for me.. I traveled around with my friend sometimes and we spoke about everything from politics (my vicious favorite subject),fashion, gossip and yes even guys, and sometimes I traveled  alone and I was shocked at how much I enjoyed myself traveling alone…I thought ..I read (the kite runner.. an amazing book.. i couldn’t put it down until I finished it…it didn’t even bother me that i cried in public several times while reading it. Never have I enjoyed a book so much since teenage years.. highly recommendable…I went to the zoo and acted like a 5 year old kid. I didn’t check my email and hardly spoke on the phone, I was able to disconnect and enjoy being free.

 

However, the effect was temporary for with putting in the orders for the flower girl dresses and suit hunting with my fiancé I find myself starting to freak out again while my fiancé is super relaxed (actually he’s much more laid back than I am in general so maybe that’s it).

 

So my dear readers…I have decided to ask for your feedback.. for those of you who have gotten married or passed through something similar or very different, or those of you who have an opinion about this article that you’d like to share, or those of you who think I’m just plain weird and would like to give me a piece of your mind, please do…I need any help I can get and your opinions would be of great help ..

 

Thank you for listening and hope you all have a great day and life with stress free weddings…hehehe.

Angel

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9 Comments »

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  1. Babe, it’s normal to be worried about the future and think ahead. Every bride goes through moments when she worries, and even questions the whole thing… the future is ambiguous, noone can ever foresee or know exactly what’s going to happen. One Brazilian journalist I like once wrote “When you think you have all the answers, life comes and changes all the questions” – Luis Fernando Verissimo. So basically you must just enjoy what you have, cease the moment, and let life just direct your course.

    My only advice about weddings, never let that stress you at all. That’s one night, it will pass, and you probably won’t even remember a lot of it… it’s the marriage that stays with you beyond that one night wedding.

    I split up with my ex fiance while planning our wedding, he definately was not worth it in first place, but the one big lesson I learned, not to give a lot of attention to planning the wedding. Personally, I don’t think I’ll have a big wedding party when it’s my turn, I want the marriage, the wedding doesn’t mean much to me.

    Anyway, for anyone who has decided to have a wedding, I just recommend not to worry, the people who love you will like it, enjoy it and see all the beautiful things about the wedding. There always will be people that complain about “imperfections” but I hope you don’t invite those cyanical and negative people lol.

    I’m so sure it will be perfect, because you are beautiful and you will radiate all the beautiful things and positive energy at your wedding. Mil besos

  2. Let me be the first to comment on your post… I’m not gonna go in detail because you know my opinions on these issues. Plus the fact that I have no experience in this area doesn’t help.

    But this is also what I think. We (and about 99% of girls) have these amazing fairytale ideas about their wedding day that they don’t really realize how much work goes into preparing it. They also don’t think too much about what comes after that. So in the months preceeding the wedding, this huge burden and all the worries of marriage just fall into your lap.

    This guy once explained to me the difference between guys and girls when it comes to marriage and why girls want to get married so much quicker than guys do. He said “Girls see marriage as the Wedding day or the Party whereas Guys see it as the Rest of their life and the problems that they could face in the future”. I must admit I had to agree with him cuz I’m excited as hell for my wedding day. I’ve already planned the whole thing out 😉 since I was 10. And I never really considered the types of problems that I might face after that. The whole idea was just a big honeymoon with your boyfriend. But guys tend to be alot more realistic about what marriage is really all about.

    So I’m proud of you for waking up a bit and facing the reality. Just breath, keep urself organized and drink a bit more than usual and I think you’ll do fine. 😉 I love ya!

  3. Hey Angel, I have heard so much about you…and baby cakes is as excited as you are for your wedding…regarding your wedding preparations I think its perfectly normal for you to be freaking out or feel overwhelmed..coz if you did not, then there is something wrong…It is a phase that every woman dreamt about since she was 3 years old…I did not go through it yet, but one of my closest friends just did and i quote her saying “I wish i knew before the wedding night that it would be so easy and smooth”..so do not worry and everything will be as perfect as you want it to be…Good luck and wish you all the best..:)

  4. G,babycakes and samba..thank you so much for your comments and support..your insight helped me clear my thojghts a bit more and relax and see what really matters..im getting married ot the love of my life…..yaaaaaaaaaaay…i wish the three of you the same(minus the stress) someday soon…samba i loved the quote you put in..very true..babycales i not only plan to drink a little more than usual..i plan to get wasted ,,but maybe the night before the big day so prepare yourself..now its you turn to help me(remember greece)..g ive heard so much about you tooand looking forward to meet you some day soon..who knmows maybe for babycake’s wedding..again thank you a lot and i look forward to more feedback from the readers of this article

  5. “When you think you have all the answers, life comes and changes all the questions”… I can’t believe I skipped over that quote earlier. I must have been reading too fast.

    That is a really good quote and it makes ALOT of sense. Thanks Samba.

    It is so true though… You think you have everything figured out and then overnight or over a second your life can change with the addition or minus of one single element. I mean within in the course of two weeks, I had went from being sure about my job and life in Lebanon to packing my suitcase to board the plane to Kuwait.

    And as of that moment that I got the job, the whole direction of my life had changed and all the answers that I had searched hard to find and had convinced myself to believe were no longer relevant.

    So yes it’s very true. Live the moment. Enjoy everyday for what it gives you. And don’t try so hard to fit the pieces into the puzzle. THey will fall into place on their own in their own good time.

  6. Oh my dear Angel,

    Here is what I can tell you, as a person who had not one, but two weddings! (yes, not a time waster young me).. I looked at both my wedding parties as events since that is what I do, event organizing. Today, being married to the man I want to stay with for the rest of my life, I wish I was a tad bit stressed about it and did not perceive it as a function that I am just requried to organize.

    The thing is, a little stress (reasonable amount ofcourse) personalizes it for you, it will only leave a lasting effect and loving memory for both of you. Many years from now, you will look back and smile and be thankful for the running around, the following up phonecalls, and every effort both of you put together to create your happily ever after story 🙂 It is beautiful, smile hun x

    As for the future, well us women are created in a way, as if we do not have enough issues to worry about, oh let’s dig some more and find more things to worry about! We are such complex creatures, I gave up on understanding most of my behaviours! Well, the future holds what it holds, the beauty is that you will not have to face anything on your own, you have him to hold your hand and face the world together. It can only make you stronger. You complete and bring out the best in each other, do not fear the future, you are no longer 16. You do not have to face any changes on your own anymore 🙂

  7. You know..? there’ just 47 days to my wedding.. and I know the guy for the past 4 years now… Im happy to marry him and I cant wait.. But there are times that I think whether it will work out… whether we would make the right decisions.. whether I would be a good wife.. whether we would live together or work might keep us apart.. and many more things.. I think it is just the fact that you are moving into a new phase of your life.. the role of a wife.. which is making you worried.. cz’deep inside you know everything will be fine but it is just the last minute jitters.. I had these real bad around 2 months back and we used to have frequent fights.. GOd alone knows for what now when I think back to it.. I used to get angry for any and everything!!! But then we talked over it and I confided my fears in him and he was supportive… n with his strength now, I am absolutely jitter-less.. Im sure everything wil lwork out fine..
    The same for you. I am also the first one in my generation to be married from my mom’ side so the excitement is more.. SO i am able to understand how your life might be at the moment.. it is just that everyone is happy for u 🙂 so just go along with it.. take frequent “time-outs” like you did with ur friend so that u can relieve urself a lil .. and then plunge right back in… you are gonna be a lovely bride!! 🙂 All the best 🙂

    http://4mgiselle.wordpress.com

  8. dudette and giselle thank you so much for your input…your comments really helped me feel that its ok to freak out a bit but to remember that what counts is your life waiting for you with your love..and i cant wait for that honestly..duda the last part of your comment brought tears to my eyes because you know me so much and him quiet well and im glad you think we bring out the best in each other..you are right…whatever challenges i(im sorry)we might face we will face together(although i still find it difficult saying we rather than i..hehehe)and that in itself is beautiful…we are really complicated beings arent we?poor men

    gisele i hope you have a beautiful marriage and wedding and thank you again for your incerdible insight..its great to hear someone sound your same fears and overcome them..thanks a lot

  9. netime dear… n thnx for ur wishes… i too wish for the same… but well, sometimes the best of positive thinking fails me.. at that time it feels good for me also to know that i am not alone…


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